ArticlesGift Guide, Christmas 2009: for Guys Who Never See Their Kids (or Nephews, Nieces)
Why? Because he did what all little kids love for their long lost fathers and uncles to do (and what all real parents absolutely hate that guys like you do). He got me the most awesome gifts ever. When I was in second grade and my parents couldn't afford and didn't want me to have a Nintendo (NES), my crappy uncle bought me one for Christmas. Another year, when the rest of my Christmas presents sucked, my crappy uncle bought me this amazing remote control hovercraft with two big fans on the back and a lifelike inflating bottom raft and it would hover and speed and spin all over the place and...okay, I'm getting a little carried away. Still, as big of a hit those presents were, and as great of memories as I have about them, I'm sure that they were both born of necessity as my uncle drove to my house and thought, "Dammit. I better buy that kid a present," and recklessly swerved across three lanes of traffic to hit up a Walmart or Toys R Us. So, to save you some last-minute Christmas shopping headache, to save you some money, and to save you from making a horrible mistake of buying the wrong thing...here, Mr. Guy Who Never Sees Your Kid (or Nephew or Niece)...is what you should buy this Christmas, 2009. RULE #1 - Buy an iPod Touch (8gb, newest 3rd Generation)
Best deal is at Amazon: click here. Should be around $180, about $20 less than at the Apple Store If you're short on time, just click here to get it at Amazon now. You can thank me later. But if you have a moment...Here's why the 8GB Apple iPod Touch is the #1 gift for Christmas 2009, especially for people in your situation.
So to recap: The Apple iPod Touch 8GB will give you the most bang for your buck and make you a hero this Christmas. If you're a real baller and are thinking bigger, go ahead and get the 64GB iPod Touch and the biggest and coolest Xbox 360 Elite, Modern Warfare 2 console.
* Note about Amazon Kindle - You should only get this if your son/daughter/niece/nephew is a total nerd and is proud of it. Otherwise, they will think you're doing the following three things:
Obviously, this is not what you want. Play to your strengths. Fun. Frivolous. Forever remembered for giving most FREAKING AWESOME gifts they ever received. How to Dress Like a Coastie winterized coastie (jsonline) ↑  coastie out of uniform ↑ You know the coastie type - black tights, vneck shirt, possible North Face, LARGE sunglasses (80s Raybans is the current coastie preference) and Ugg boots. They usually try to carry their iPhone and Starbucks in one hand and a Blackberry phone in the other - maybe even keys to a brand new BMW 3 series. Like Snoop says: "Pimpin ain't easy". Anyway, since everyone wants to look like a coastie I had one of my hot Coastie friends verify that this is what you need to stand out and look like a coastie. The clothes are almost $450, but Coasties don't care. The Blackberry is $424, and the daily Starbucks budget is $25. The MILWAUKEE Journal Sentinel provided the coastie photo and information, but the coasties were first discovered in MADISON. See public reaction to Journal Sentinel's coastie research and more reaction here.
Urban Dictionary's definition of a coastie Southwest Airlines Price Drop Guarantee Got Me Money BackCompetition is great at driving down prices. Right now Southwest, Virgin America, and others are competing fiercely for transportation routes between northern and southern California. $39 one-way flights are great at allowing me to visit friends and family more often. When booking my flight for Thanksgiving on Southwest the rates were $49. Still far less than in years past, but not the $39 that is typically advertised. Today I logged in to Southwest to see if I could change my reservation to an earlier flight. In the process I noticed that the existing flight I was already booked on was now $39. So, I re-booked the same flight at the new rate and Southwest credited my account $10. It would be nice if Southwest did this automatically. In the future re-check the going rates for your existing flights to see if you qualify for a refund or credit. You can also use a service like Yapta to track when your flight prices drop. I'll be taking the credit from Southwest and applying it to my flight home during the December holidays. Southwest gets more of my business and I save more money. Further reading: What is America Buying?We recently received an email from Walmart outlining their upcoming deals for black friday, cyber monday, and the holiday season. Along with the email came an interesting report outlining their top selling items from their web site. What do Americans who shop online at Walmart.com purchase? Video games, electronics, and a few kids items. Have a look: 7 Books That Went Rogue Before Sarah PalinShe's such a maverick. Every move Sarah Palin makes is so bold and revolutionary, yet designed to be appeal to the most conservative of anti-progress conservatives. And yet in her manifesto teach us 'Mercans to be more original, trailblazing, and 'Mercan like her, she labels herself with a term that not only carries negative connotation the size of a Moose, but also has already been used by some interesting company. June 2008 release by the romance authority Danielle Steel is about a 40-something woman seizing her independence from a never-grow-up ex-husband to raise three kids and build a successful psychiatric practice and...yes, even meet a doctor who fits the man-of-her-dreams profile right before the ol' hubby rushes back into the scene. Not sure if the title fits this one. Perhaps a scramble of the letters to produce Rouge would fit better. I had never heard of one @#$% Marcinko, but anyone who looks like the lovechild of Mister T. and Sinbad AND pens his book chapters as a new Ten Commandments deserves to ram the word Rogue into his book title. After all, Chapter 1's title ends with "I will always lead you from the front - not the rear."
This is the controversial bestseller that uses data (gasp!) to suggest the Giuliani-era crime rate drop in New York City was caused by the legalization of abortion in Roe v Wade two decades earlier, AND that baby names go in and out of fashion as the haughty upper class continues to seek new/original/unique names for their children as fast as the uneducated/poor lower class plays copycat to (subconsciously) give their offspring a better chance at success. Riding on the coattails of the Freakonomics case study on this author, the publisher gets docked for the obvious spinoff but redeems itself for labeling Sudhir Venkatesh "rogue" also. Appropriate, I think, given that he walked his brown skin into da hood, whereas the Freakonomist Stephen Levitt remains a skinny white guy living a quite professor's life at the University of Chicago. The bible for role-playing game Rogue Trader promises to help you "seek out profit and plunder amongst unexplored regions of space" while discovering "ancient and forgotten mysteries" and searching out "the unknown to find lost human worlds or never-before-seen celestial phenomena." Just reading the description makes me want to go rogue. And trade stuff, of course.
At first glance, I hoped this would be the perfect companion to Sarah Palin's "Rogue Female" but this novel from 1983 (only one year too early to be really weird!) pits the main character against the evil Hitler and his secret service. Wait a second...Palin-ish Republicans have called Obama the next Hitler. Perhaps this is someday Senator Sarah's prequel!
"The woman known as Rogue has been many things: fighter, friend, soldier, lover...and now, daughter." No, not Sarah Palin. It's Rogue from X-Men. And no, this glimpse into her childhood and family background doesn't take her home to Alaska. She's from Mississippi. Duh. Rogue is way more rogue than Sarah Palin. Like two times as much, because this book title uses our new favorite R-word twice! « Previous Next »
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